“We saved our lives”

“It makes me sad that we live in a world where gaining weight can’t be part of the story of saving our lives.”

I spoke these words on a Wonder Recovery Call several months ago. The conversation steered towards sugar and the trickiness of replacing booze with sweets. This topic frequently comes up because it is a real part of recovery. There are always heads nodding in resonance at how hard this can be to navigate. I nod my head too.

Usually, I have a couple of tried and true answers ready, but this particular evening, I swear to you, I felt the rumblings of every female in my ancestral line push their voice through space and time and say collectively, “We saved our lives.” These words spoke the stories of resilience, courage, and determination, reminding me that throughout history, women have fought battles, survived hardships, and triumphed against all odds. These words were not about shrinking themselves but the victories from inner strength, love, and embracing their bodies capable of greatness.

I wept later that night after that call. The urgency of those voices clung to my neck, shoulders, and back. I could not shake the intensity in my body, the feeling that I was carrying an anthem that was a million years old.

“How long? How long?”

Through my tears, this question went out into the universe and took a different shape. “How long will you deny your worth?” A sucker punch to my heartstrings, hitting swift and sharp. How long will I stand, complicit with a world that overlooks the significance of agency and the need for deep care?

I’m talking about boundaries, not bubble baths kind of care.

How long will I stay tied to the conditioning that my self-worth is equated to societal expectations, conforming to beauty standards, and consistently and exhaustingly putting everyone’s needs before mine? How long will I keep offering my valuable energy to a society that says my worth is measured by the slow chipping away of my body, mind, and spirit at the hands of my self-destruction?

What will it cost before standing on the mountain top, letting loose a feral voice, and proclaiming, “I am worthy!” What narrative will be a part of the story of saving our own lives? Is there room for a paradigm shift - a collective awakening that acknowledges the inherent dignity of all of us? Can the newfound dimpled skin or jeans that don’t fit anymore tell the story of transformation and freedom? Can the extra pounds be the story of remembering how to nourish our physical and emotional needs? Can the lines around the mouth and eyes tell the story of learning to laugh and cry again? Can the softness of the body and muscles be because of honoring preciousness?

Let us continue to create compassionate spaces where these questions can be met with a resounding “yes” and reverberate in our hearts. It is time to write a different story, redefine our worth on our own terms, and embrace the fullness of our being without reservations. Let’s remind each other, over and over and over again, that our worth knows no bounds and we deserve all the love and care this world has to offer.

Let’s pause here and breathe together for a moment.

And now, let’s step forward with confidence and compassion and join the voices of generations and declare, “We saved our lives.”

I love you.

Keep going.

Anne Marie